I really could use a next year

Assalamualaikum

so

my life is a mess

I dont know why

but things dont really goes well right now

I dont have things figured out yet

I cant make future plans

when my wife is in labour

I am not really there

I was at work

busy gile kot masa wife aku nak bersalin tu

I dont even take paternity leave

because too much work

and the long distance

really hard

I just could not leave my wife and my son alone

so

I quit my job

and my last day is on 19 august 2020

and I dont have any back up job

and the weird thing is 

I dont really worry that much

why I am not worried

I am worried because I am not worried about this

I keep telling myself

nanti ada la tu kerja

but until now there's nothing

the good thing is

currently my life is debt free

so there's that

I finish pay for my car

I dont have student loans

I dont even have insurance

I know its important

but my finance does not allow me to take one right now

so the only commitment I have is

pay my house rent including the bills

and my asb loan

so there it is

life with debt free is somehow a stress relief

I dont worry that much

yeah sure I admit

sometimes I do get jealous seeing my friend

and even my brothers

getting new things buying new cars

minat kereta kan sekarang

but my current situation needs me to be really strict with my spending

I hold off buying new phones

until I get a new job

so

the plan is

after my last day

I go back to my hometown

until September

and when September comes

I moves to seremban with my family

and start a new life

start to look for a job

temp job is also an option

if I couldnt get a fixed job

september is also my birthday

so somehow in a way

when I turn 29 this year 

I start a new life

and if things dont work out by september

there's always new year

because

my life is such a mess right now

and I could really need a new year

a fresh start

sekian