The things I desired the most

Assalamualaikum

so I just remembered a scene from friends

and now that Im resigning

I've been thinking

what should I do next

Now that I'm jobless

I should be able to do want I wanted to do the most

I should pursue my dream job

well 

to be honest

I like teaching

my dream job would be a teacher or a lecturer

but that road seems to be closed

If I want to be a lecturer

I should get my phd first

and getting a phd wont pay my bills

and even when I get my phd

theres no guarantee that I can get a lecturer position

another thing is

in this day and age

becoming a streamer or a youtuber seems like a decent job

but I am an old fashion person

I have my skeptical

So

what should I do

what should I work on

the one thing that always stick in my head

"takkan nak kerja macam ni sampai umur 50"

"nak buat lab analysis sampai umur 50 ke"

since umur pencen is 56 to 60

but as a private sector emloyee

I dont think we can work until we are 50

even 45 seems like not fit enough to work

there are a lot of young graduates 

what can I offer at 45

I always think that when Im 45 

its not suitable for me to do the things that Im doing now

Im too old for that

but for me to pencen and stay at home at 45

Im too young for that

so 

it seems like I need to find a work

that can last long

cikgu je la yang boleh kerja sampai pencen umur 60

ppnsyarah pun dah tua2 pun boleh sambung kontrak lagi

tapi kalau orang-orang yang kerja swasta ni

umur 45 da obselete dah

baik ambik fresh grad baru je

some says

at that age better we work at someplace that less stress

like petrol station

or guard

even then when Im job hunting

job like that require below age 45

entahlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

lets not think too much

just get a job

pay your bills

and hope dunia kiamat 

and mati yang baik

sekian