Way Out of My League

 Assalamualaikum

so get this

sports car = kereta sukan

design yang lebih sporty is design yang lebih bersukan

haaa???

it sounds weird but I get the point

so takpelah

anyway

since lately ni aku macam berminat dengan kereta kan

aku pun macam seronok lah bila ada orang borak-borak pasal kereta ni

macam boleh lah aku nak masuk dalam perbualan diorang

diorang is my sanak saudara semua lah

tapi

perbualan diorang memang membuatkan aku terdiam habis

mana taknya

sorang bawak audi

sorang jenis modify-modify kereta

and cara diorang sembang macam kereta-kerata ni

boleh beli macam beli pisang goreng

salah satu ayat diorang

"lepas ni nak beli kereta tu pulak lah sebab lepas setahun dua ni harga dia drop dah"

by kereta tu I mean volkswagen tiguan

and dia baru je beli kereta baru tak sampai sebulan

dan aku pun berhuhuhuhu

 

aku ni pulak just ambik tahu je lah

takdelah macam nak beli pun

memang sekadar cuci-cuci mata je lah 

so 

I need a cheaper hobby

sekian

Downgrading

 Assalamualaikum

Since I have a few days left

I have to admit

aku dah start risau dah ni takdak kerja baru lagi ni

at this point 

memang aku kena berkompromi sikit dengan belanja aku

angan-angan nak beli phone baru

bai

tapi kalau phone dah memang tak boleh on

terpaksa lah beli baru

tapi kene downgrade sikit lah daripada dream phone tu kan

angan-angan nak pergi jalan-jalan

bai

angan-angan nak beli barang-barang untuk rumah sewa nanti

bai

at this point

memang beli barang-barang Ilyas je

by the way

anak aku selepas sebulan baru sah taraf rakyat malaysia

baru dapat surat beranak

kenapa dah sebulan baru dapat surat beranak

sebab kerja banyaaaaaakk

sekarang ni lah aku ada masa sikit nak pergi jpn

so tulah dia

nak cakap

anak aku dah ada surat beranak

nama dia

Muhammad Ilyas bin Muhammad Azam 

bin Muhammad Zaki bin Yaacob

bin Yahya bin Ilyas

he was named after my great great grandfather

so nanti memang aku kena buat wasiat lah

so that cucu aku nanti rotate balik yahya

so that nanti nama Azam tu reincarnate balik

sekian

The things I desired the most

Assalamualaikum

so I just remembered a scene from friends

and now that Im resigning

I've been thinking

what should I do next

Now that I'm jobless

I should be able to do want I wanted to do the most

I should pursue my dream job

well 

to be honest

I like teaching

my dream job would be a teacher or a lecturer

but that road seems to be closed

If I want to be a lecturer

I should get my phd first

and getting a phd wont pay my bills

and even when I get my phd

theres no guarantee that I can get a lecturer position

another thing is

in this day and age

becoming a streamer or a youtuber seems like a decent job

but I am an old fashion person

I have my skeptical

So

what should I do

what should I work on

the one thing that always stick in my head

"takkan nak kerja macam ni sampai umur 50"

"nak buat lab analysis sampai umur 50 ke"

since umur pencen is 56 to 60

but as a private sector emloyee

I dont think we can work until we are 50

even 45 seems like not fit enough to work

there are a lot of young graduates 

what can I offer at 45

I always think that when Im 45 

its not suitable for me to do the things that Im doing now

Im too old for that

but for me to pencen and stay at home at 45

Im too young for that

so 

it seems like I need to find a work

that can last long

cikgu je la yang boleh kerja sampai pencen umur 60

ppnsyarah pun dah tua2 pun boleh sambung kontrak lagi

tapi kalau orang-orang yang kerja swasta ni

umur 45 da obselete dah

baik ambik fresh grad baru je

some says

at that age better we work at someplace that less stress

like petrol station

or guard

even then when Im job hunting

job like that require below age 45

entahlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

lets not think too much

just get a job

pay your bills

and hope dunia kiamat 

and mati yang baik

sekian

I really could use a next year

Assalamualaikum

so

my life is a mess

I dont know why

but things dont really goes well right now

I dont have things figured out yet

I cant make future plans

when my wife is in labour

I am not really there

I was at work

busy gile kot masa wife aku nak bersalin tu

I dont even take paternity leave

because too much work

and the long distance

really hard

I just could not leave my wife and my son alone

so

I quit my job

and my last day is on 19 august 2020

and I dont have any back up job

and the weird thing is 

I dont really worry that much

why I am not worried

I am worried because I am not worried about this

I keep telling myself

nanti ada la tu kerja

but until now there's nothing

the good thing is

currently my life is debt free

so there's that

I finish pay for my car

I dont have student loans

I dont even have insurance

I know its important

but my finance does not allow me to take one right now

so the only commitment I have is

pay my house rent including the bills

and my asb loan

so there it is

life with debt free is somehow a stress relief

I dont worry that much

yeah sure I admit

sometimes I do get jealous seeing my friend

and even my brothers

getting new things buying new cars

minat kereta kan sekarang

but my current situation needs me to be really strict with my spending

I hold off buying new phones

until I get a new job

so

the plan is

after my last day

I go back to my hometown

until September

and when September comes

I moves to seremban with my family

and start a new life

start to look for a job

temp job is also an option

if I couldnt get a fixed job

september is also my birthday

so somehow in a way

when I turn 29 this year 

I start a new life

and if things dont work out by september

there's always new year

because

my life is such a mess right now

and I could really need a new year

a fresh start

sekian

Changing Interest

Assalamualaikum

Kali ni aku nak cakap pasal kereta

pelik kan

Aku tak tahu lah kan

sama ada aku ni makin tua

atau aku dah bosan tengok tepon

tapi

tiba-tiba

aku macam minat tengok kereta pulak sekarang ni

Its all started when 

I stumble on a video

pasal bezza vs saga 

dalam video tu

dan komen-komen warganet dalam video tu

kebanyakannya pilih saga untuk kepuasan handling 

dan bezza hanya menang part penjimatan minyak

ramai orang cakap

try dulu bawak proton nanti mesti tak nak tukar kereta lain dah

proton yang baru-baru ni lah

sampai aku rasa macam nak try beli pulak proton ni

ingat macam beli kereta macam beli pisang goreng 

dulu aku berpendapat

at least for me la

since aku pakai myvi

kalau aku nak tukar kereta

aku masih rasa kalau aku nak tukar kereta

aku still akan consider myvi baru

aku masih lagi boleh consider untuk tukar ke perodua

and sekarang bila aku dah berkeluarga

aku boleh je nak consider perodua arus ke alza ke

tapi not for proton

bagi akula 

orang beli proton ni sebab murah

then macam oklah beli lah untuk first car ok la kot

then bila nak upgrade kereta lain boleh lah beli yang elok sikit

kalau aku guna proton saga for example

then bila aku nak tukar kereta

aku tak akan pergi proton preve ke atau bila aku dah berkeluarga

aku takkan pergi ke proton exora

mesti akan lompat brand lain

tapi itu dulu

lepas kena racun dengan video video dekat youtube

sekarang ni aku rasa

untuk upgrade ke proton pun 

still a valid option

since aku ni pun bukanlah orang kerja gaji besar-beasr sangat pun

for me 

proton macam in the right path la

untuk a few years akan datang

aku rasa proton boleh jadi dream car kot

anyway

sekarang ni

aku rasa macam just nak drive je

tanpa hala tuju

just nak menikmati pemanduan

dan pemandangan

bukan bawak dengan perasaan nak cepat sampai

sebab nak sampai kemana kan 

rasa macam nak kembara 1 malaysia

lagi-lagi bila aku dah resign ni kan

btw aku dah resign 19 ogos 2020 last day

Tapi since aku da ada anak ni

agak susah la untuk aku bergerak

so aku memang looking forward untuk balik kampung je lah

sebab jalan jauh kan

merasa lah sikit

sekian

semoga aku boleh berjalan-jalan sebelum aku start kerja baru

which is aku belum ada kerja back up pun lagi sekarang ni

Getting Personal

Assalamualaikum

 

Ok screw proper writing

I want to rant first

Sebab kalau nak rant ni kena emosi sikit

And aku kalau emosi takda nak acah-acah cakap english ni

 

Since this week

I’ve been going to Hospital Sultannah Aminah (HSA) a lot

Because I just had my first born

On Sunday 12 July 2020 at 2.10pm

Its a boy.

 

But he suffer from jaundice

And we have to go to HSA a lot to check the baby

And apa ang aku perasan ni

Doktor ni kan

Kalau tak pakai iphone mesti pakai samsung note

Phone paling mahal kot

On android side and IOS side

Kalau cakap dengan aku ni phone je la

Takda benda lain

 

Anyway

Yes I know

I don’t tell Instagram about the baby

Normally I would be like

Follower kena tahu ni

But now

I don’t really know

Maybe I suffer from work stress

or maybe its something else

Am I not happy about the baby

Of course Im happy

But somehow I keep it to myself

All the baby pictures taken

I keep it to myself

But my wife,

No, she tell everyone,

So I guess its ok since my wife already tell everyone

So I can just stay quiet.

 

In fact I was thinking about writing this on personal file

And not post it

Tapi nanti berapa banyak file aku nak simpan kan

So takpa la post je la bukan ada orang tengok pun.

 

Anyway

Its been a week

And aku rasa macam dah terlambat je

Kalau aku nak buat satu instagram post kata

Isteri saya selamat melahirkan anak sulung kami

Pada 12 julai 2020

Pukul 2.10pm

Firts Trial

Assalamualaikum

Somehow, 

I enjoy writing or typing on my laptop.

And that's why I still making an entry on my blog

even tough everyone else seems like slowing down in making entry.

Sometime, I felt like writing a story,

even tough I only have half way idea.

normally,

my entry is anything that I want to write,

I write in my native language

and sometimes in english

with no regards of grammar or whatsoever.

I just write.

But that's doesn't looks professional.

If I were to write in a formal way, 

It will loose the relaxation sense when reading

at least that's what I think.

 

But if I write in a proper way

I could improve my writing skills.

So

I don't know

lets just wait and see 

what I'm going to write.